and...i'm back!hahaha.long time no see bloggie.been really REALLY busy with work + pregnancy + baby + everything else thats happening that i can't even cope with myself.yes i did promised to write that long postponed wedding review but now i'm starting the pregnancy review..THE BIRTH??! so much for the promise.whatevs.my blog,my way. :P

anyhow i decided to put up this post as a reminder and a lil token for me, or maybe even for my husband or daughter, of how i alhamdulillah survived my first pregnancy and birth.

let the story begins..ahem.

PART 1 : The Check Up

on the morning of 11th November 2014, i was attending my regular check up in 37 weeks at Ampang Puteri Hospital.i was expected to deliver on 1st December according to the past ultrasounds, however since my baby was identified to be small,i might be induced earlier,around 38 weeks.so i thought this was going to be a normal check up.and as usual, my gynae, Dr Fauziah checks the routine blood pressure, ultrasound, weight..but this time, for the first time ever she checked on my cervix opening.let me be honest if you keep reading how painful when the doctor insert the ducky plastic thing down there, well trust me that is nothing compared to what im about to tell you in the next few paragraphs.haha.

anyhow,her few words later suprised the hell out of me.

"eh ni dah bukak 2.5 cm ni..dah boleh dah kalau awak nak beranak harini."

i..am..so...SPEECHLESS.many things ran into my mind.i'm not ready for this.omg.im not ready.i just don't.i actually planned to go to ikea with my mum to buy my baby's stuff later after the check up.

"erm, doctor kalau saya nak induced on the 14th boleh?jumaat ni?"

dalam otak,mengambil keberkatan hari jumaat katanya.plus kononnye, nak dapatkan tarikh cun jugak,dah alang2 kene induce. 14.11.14. coz my wedding was on 4.1.14.

LOL.

but since the doctor was reluctant to do it on that Friday (due to her tight schedule) , i asked if it could be postponed the day after,but she told me that there were already 4 patients booked for delivery on that day.since i was too,reluctant to be delivered on the 11th, she sent me for CTG to check for contraction.oh ya forgot to mention that before the check up, i didn't experience any contraction, or maybe it's just me that did not know how contraction felt like in the first place.all i had was the frequent 'perut mengeras' every 30 mins at least but i just ignored since it didn't felt painful (and now i learn that it can also be considered as contraction based on the CTG result...duhh).

so off i went to the labour room,my stomach equipped with the CTG device, and after 30 mins, the result came out and suprisingly, i was having that regular 5 mins contraction based on the graph's peaks.yikes.hence as advised by my gynae, i finally agreed to be induced on that day..


PART 2: The Contractions

so after the check up i went to the cafe to have my lunch (my last comfort meal was carbonara fettucini and iced milo),called my husband to come back homee and rushed to the admission to check in for the ward. unluckily the single bedded ward all full, so i had to check in the 5 bedded ward (which turns out to be quite okay la, but less privacy jela kut.) then i went back to the labour room.i still remember that Labour Room 4. i don't know why our life revolves around number 1 and 4 so much. -.-' anyhow after i got into the hospital uniform (apesal lah seluar die just sarung sampai takat peha je?) ,the nurse injected ubat bagi poopoo. to clear out any leftovers in my belly.inject 1 minit trus meluru ke toilet hoho.pastu nurse tu dah inject untuk induce...time tu pukul 2 kot die start induce.sebab before die inject tu die cek my body temp and found out i was having a fever (although of course i feel healthy.) so die masukkan drip bagi turun temperature dulu..maka lepas die induce tu,tunggu jela sampai bukaan tu sampai 10 cm. time ni my husband was on the way all the way from Paka.because we both dont expect to deliver that early so dia takdelah nak amek cuti ke ape.sambil2 tunggu bukaan tu,ingat nak la baca quran kejap,but then my iphone beteri dead, and i didn't bring the quran or anything at all with me on that day,so i end up watching indonesian sinetron on tv3 sambil wonder aku ni duk malaysia ke indon ntah banyak sangat drama indon ni.haha.nak whats app orang bagitau nak beranak pun tak dapat.nak pegi jejalan perut kene pasang CTG tu.so duk jela dediam tengok tv...

inilah rupenye Labor Room tu.

and around 4 pm, my husband finally reached by my side..wahhh legaa gilaa he's safely arrived and will be by my side throughout the labour. (thank you hubby! :) ) time dia sampai tu, bukaan baru 4 cm...and believe it or not time ni tak rasa pape pun lagi!tak rasa saket,siap gelak2 lagi dengan husband.sampai satu tahap macam tak faham kenapa baca kat fb orang cakap masa bukaan 2 cm saket gila semua...kununn.tengah gelak2 and borak2 dengan husband, tetiba datang satu saket yang......speechless.like,literally,aku terdiam seribu bahasa.time tu husband dah macam perasan dah apesal aku ni diam and dia faham (kot) aku tengah menahan kesakitan...and time tu,nurse cakap dah 6 cm...dan time ni lah aku faham ape yang diorang cakap kat fb tu...sakit...sakit yang bagi aku macam senggugut, tapi 100 kali ganda senggugut.sape yang tak pernah senggugut tu....bertabahlah...sape yang pernah pun...bertabahlah..hahaha...

dan start pukul 6 petang tu aku dah senyap...masa contraction datang,aku senyap...lepas contraction pegi, aku gelak2 balek...yup time tu boleh lagi....tapi around pukul 9 kot time tuh,aku igt sebab time tu tengah tengok 999....,masa tu...memang tak dapat gelak langsung dah.memang rasa macam..am i going to leave the world tonite?seriously macam tu perasaan sakitnye.masa tu dah start sedut gas khayal tuh..sebelum tu bleh tahan lagi plus takut nak amek gas tu,sebab tak reti nak inhale...pas nurse tunjuk,memang bersungguh aku inhale gas tu wei...tapi aku inhale bagai nak rak pun sebenarnye tak membantu pun gas tu.it don't ease your pain, i know, but i just need to think like it actually does.the power of mind gitu.then masa ni my gynae masuk LR, and then tanya boleh tak dia nak pegi airport, nak fetch husband dia.i was like, WHAAAAT?!tapi since that it's her husband, i pun redho jela. tu syurga dia.i understand.and she said Dr Ariza will be in charge if she didn't make it back on time.ok la,Dr Ariza pun ok,as long as dia perempuan, i'm okay..

pastu nurse keep on tanye, awak nak inject painkiller tak?nak epidural tak?

and of course i said no. and i told my husband beforehand, in case nanti if i did ask him to allow me for epidural,pls tell me NO.and that's exactly what he did. although masa tu kan i actually wanted him to allow me taking that epidural.because that is the only way i would take it. yelah,perintah suami kan,kene la ikot (haha). but im glad he followed my pre-labour advise. but when he told me NO, dalam hati i was like, "amboiii cer hang duk tempat aku ni,melutut hang merayu nak epidural!hmmph!" seriously aku rasa kalau lelaki lah kene beranak 99% of them akan amek epidural or at least painkiller. and im proud that i didn't take any of those. :) bukan ape sebab orang kate banyak long term effects of these injections.

dan masuk 9.30 pm tu, dah crucial time dah.time ni i keep on pressing the button to call for nurse to check the laluan, and the nurse cakap baru 8 cm.oh.mai.god.rase nak nangis pun tak ternangis.rase macam,ya Allah let this be over fastttt.pastu duk fikir pasal mati.siap pujuk dalam hati, takpe wani,kalo ko tak survive pun ko dapat pahala shahid. pastu fikir sape nak jaga anak,sapa nak jaga suami.mengarut habes ah time tu.dramaaa.dan sampai lah ke pukul 11 drama itu berlaku, and time tu dah start rasa nak teran.rasa nak membuang.like something needs to get out from my body.so i called the nurse,cakap nak teran.nurse tak bagi, die cakap Dr Fauziah dah sampai hospital, but she needed to entertain one emergency c-sec case downstairs, so she will be right up in a few minutes..which to me felt like hours.maka aku pun duk panggil midwife and nurse time tu sebab tak tahan wei..sampai tahap depa dah malas nak layan aku and finally,doc fauziah masuk..barulah diorang bagi green light untuk aku teran..

dan episode meneran pun bermula...sebelum beranak ni memang aku dah buat extensive research on cara meneran (kate researcher :P).hypnobirthing bagai tu semua lah aku dah baca...tapi when you are in such pain, memang ke laut lah semua tu..sebab tu kalo hypnobirth kene ade orang sapot.especially husband.tapi memandangkan husben aku bukanlah researcher (haha) so end up aku sorang je tau mende tu and of course tak dipraktikkan pun..masa teran tu,aku sebenarnye dah takde tenaga...lapar kot..bayangkan last meal kul 12 tengahari..pastu sakit tahan contraction..memang takde tenaga and rasa nak givap..even dalam hati dah redho dah kalo nak kene c-sec pun...tapi doc check CTG,jantung baby still ok..tak drop..so die encourage aku untuk PUSHH.so aku push lah.tapi tak betul sangat kot cara aku tarik nafas.siap kene sound dengan midwife. "awak jangan push kat tekak,push kat perut!" aduhai akak kalo lah ade button untuk saya tekan lalu automatically aku push kat perut.kan senang. -.-'
dan lepas berpush2 banyak kali, tetiba doc ckp kepala dah nampak.tapi die tengok aku macam tak larat.

"hmm kalo gini kite nak kene vaccuum ni..macam dah tak larat je awak nak push."

aku dengar je perkataan vaccuum tu,terus aku mendapat semangat kuasa bima sakti untuk aku push harder and longer..pastu dengar bunyi zapp.kene gunting juga.iskk.tapi time ni tak rasa pun saket kene gunting tu..haha.dan dengan izin Allah,maka keluarlah seorang khalifah ke muka bumi ini.

when i heard her cry, all the pain is gone.......................for a while.

part lepas ni memang aku dah tak ingat,sbb aku tak ingat pun nurse tu letak baby yang baru lahir kat badan aku, which was supposed to,macam kite tengok dalam tv tu.tapi husben aku kate nurse tu letak?ntah la...mungkin aku high dengan gas tu tak habes2 lagi..pastu nurse bagi baby kat husben aku untuk diazankan..which is kalau tengok dalam drama, time ni la maknye akan nangis terharu...in my case,that didn't happen.-.-' sebab lepas je keluar baby,doc dah kalut tengok darah keluar mencurah-curah...banyak sangat..so lepas doc keluarkan uri semua, die cakap aku luka teruk..walaupun baby kecik,tapi luka extend sampai ke dalam ke ape ntah aku pun tak paham time tu.so die pun nak mula menjahit,tapi time ni ya Allah sakit gila!aku rasa sakit dijahit ni lagi sakit daripada beranak! T_T memang aku tak tahan,aku cakap aku sakit.doc tu dah penat agaknye,dah la baru balek airport, so die pun order suh aku dihantar ke operation theater (supposely luka bersalin ni jahit kat labor room je ye,kes aku special sket). plus die siap tanye,bayar sendiri ke GL?aku cakap GL,terus die konfem hantar aku ke OT.maka aku tak sempat pun la pegang apetah lagi menyusukan baby..nurse bagi cium muka je..dan pastu aku pun ditolak ke OT...

kat OT plak, doc lain rupenye yang jahitkan aku.doc laki!cina!time tu aku dah la tengah high,tengah sakit,dan tengah whatever i just want to sleep now!so aku sign la segala form,tapi aku pun tak sure betul ke doc laki tu yang jahit atau doc fauziah sendiri yang jahit?haha.malas nak tanya.so doc tu pun cakap la die nak bius kasi aku tido,in which aku angguk dengan lajunye sebab tak sanggup nak handle the pain.pas die inject ape tah kat drip...tetibe aku dah tertidur...sedar2 everything is done.dan diorang pun push aku masuk ward..husben aku time tu tunggu kat luar (so sweet)..

dan akhirnya kiteorang spend the night kat ward tu..nasib baik husben boleh teman.. tapi kiteorang tak tidur sangat pun..time masuk ward dah pukul 2 pagi kot..so duk borak pasal pengalaman beranak tadi..dengan aku menahan saket kene jahit tu..memang tak boleh gerak langsung..sakittt.so terpaksalah suh husben amekkan air,amekkan makanan,naikkan katil semua...dan around 3pm, akhirnya, aku dapat jumpa baby...

it's a baby girl, 2.82 kg, 11.39 pm...nama diberi...Sofiyyah Najib.. :)

official announcement. :P